


Petty

by Izunia (chxltxn)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Kylo Ren is a punk bitch, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre The Force Awakens, Rating May Change, The First Order, Thief!Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:16:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chxltxn/pseuds/Izunia
Summary: You were a simple thief, drifting your way through the galaxy. Stealing shit here, selling it there. Whatever it took to live another day, but one slip up has you paying for it big time. You learn that there is no escape when being pursued by one of the First Order's triumvirate.





	1. 'I Fucked Up'

Thieves were a constant in the galaxy. And yet there was one who stood out, seemingly acting alone. _‘It’s me, I’m that thief,’_ you narrated. You’ve been stealing for as long as you could remember. But hey, when you’re on your own, you do what you have to see another day. While you worked for no one technically, you still picked up odd jobs here and there that paid a lot. You were amongst the best of the best after all. This time, you were asked to infiltrate one of the First Order’s storage facilities and search for some sort of engine. Simple enough, and you could obviously take more than that. It wasn’t your first time stealing from them. It was actually difficult to think about who you _haven’t_ taken something from.

* * *

A dismayed expression formed on your face as you saw how tight the security was at this one. But the employer urged that the parts he was looking for could only be found here. You would definitely be raising the rates of your services once you got back because this was bullshit and far more than you bargained for. You managed to slip past a few of them, but your heart was still pounding in your chest. The hairs on the back of your neck raised as you were rummaging through a box.

“Halt, intruder!” A stormtrooper’s voice rang out. ‘ _Shit._ ’ You slowly backed away and put your hands up as if you were admitting defeat. This wasn’t the first time you’ve been caught, but you always managed to get away relatively unscathed. Once his guard lowered the slightest bit, you slid forward to take his legs out from under him. You took the blaster and began running. You were being pursued at this point by a few of them and managed to take two of them out before running out of ammunition. ‘ _Who the fuck only has two shots?_ ’

You were stopped in your tracks as a  ‘trooper appeared a mere four feet in front of you and raised his blaster, swiftly pulling the trigger.You thought this moment would be your demise because there wasn’t enough time to dodge it. You raised your hand to block your face and braced yourself. But when the shot never hit, you opened your eyes to see it frozen right in front of you. You spread your fingers and the blast flew right back and through the stormtrooper who fired at you.

“Holy shit. What the fuck was that?” You were stunned.

A figure donned in nothing but black stepped forward. Your brow furrowed as you tried to recall who it was. You totally heard rumors about him. Tall. Menacing. Anger issues. And most frightening was his status in the First Order.

“Aha!” A lightbulb went off in your mind. “You’re, uh, Kyle Red!”

He quickly activated his red lightsaber. _‘Maybe he’s mad ‘cause I got the name wrong?’_ you wondered.

“Woah woah woah. Let’s calm down here,” you croaked out, but the figure continued walking towards you. The unstable light from the ‘saber had you gulping down a lump in your throat. “Look, er, I’m reeeally really sorry,” you put your hands together. “I’ll just leave now, so…” You bolted, but you were stopped after a few feet. That red lightsaber was near your throat a short moment later, and you could feel the intense heat radiating from it. “Oh geez, oh man.”

“So, you’re the petty thief who has been raiding our supplies,” the voice was deep and distorted by a vocoder.

“Yeah, hahah,” it was sickeningly nervous laugh and you cursed yourself.

“Who do you work for?” the man pressed.

You shook your head in response. “It’s just me. Really, I’m sorry about all that. Just trying to survive out here.”

“How unfortunate,” a phrase laced with sarcasm. “Your need for survival ends here.” You could hear your pulse, the rush of blood, and in the next moment, you broke free from the invisible force holding you in place. The black figure cocked his head. You couldn’t help but wonder what his expression under the helmet could be.

A stormtrooper raised his blaster at you, but Kyle Red or whatever his damn name was put a hand up signifying that they were all to hold fire. “Who are you?” the voice sounded flat and empty. It showed no sign of what was going on through the man’s head.

You quickly answered, and there was a moment of silence, as if he was considering you. It was a spur of the moment decision, but you lunged for a metal pipe on the ground like that’d protect you. You rolled your eyes at yourself. He was _definitely_ going to kill you now.The man began swinging his lightsaber and you did your best to dodge each movement. At one point, you held the metal pipe to deflect an attack, but his ‘saber easily cut through it. If you could find some way to get it out of hands, you would be able to level the battle field. You watched each of his movements, analyzing and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It was easy to tell that he was cocky, understandably so to an extent, he was certainly skilled. But it would still prove to be his vice. He swung, using pure strength. Unfortunately for him, it left his side open and there was no time to move away. With all your might, you quickly landed a kick to his side causing him to stagger backwards.

‘ _Alright,_ ’ you pleaded with yourself, ‘ _that power would be real useful right now._ ’ You breathed deeply, focusing your mind on the object in his hand, and in that instant, it shot back into the crowd of stormtroopers. ‘ _Hell yeah bitch!_ ’ You charged at him and it became a fight of fists and legs. You cursed him for wearing a helmet and could only imagine the satisfaction of decking him in the face. Speaking of his face, you pictured something very ugly and goblin-esque. ‘ _I mean, c’mon, no one attractive would cover their face with such a drab helmet._ ’ You were feeling pretty good, you had to admit, close combat was your forte after all. The good feeling was only there for a short time before you felt a searing pain pierce your chest. The smell of burnt flesh wafted to your nose, and that’s when you looked down to see the hole in your chest. You hobbled forward and landed in something warm. As if someone turned off the lights, the world around you faded to black.

* * *

You woke up in a dim room, and your arms were shackled behind you. Through the darkness, someone began to walk towards your crouched figure. It was another tall man with ginger hair. He looked very… anal retentive. His crisp and clean form made you feel a little embarrassed by your own. You were currently in tattered clothing, food is far more essential than a new outfit, and you could sense how dirty and ratty your hair was.

The man stated your name and approximate age. “Thief. Good physique. Skilled fighter.” He continued listing little facts about you, and you glared back at him.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” You stuck your tongue out. Was it immature? Very. Did it get the point across though? Honestly, that’s up in the air.

“Alright then. His name is Kylo Ren, not Kyle Red.” You felt your cheeks begin to burn. ‘ _Oh god, that is so embarrassing. Who told him I said that? Damn it damn it damn it._ ’

“Good to know. And you’re supposed to be?” A sheepish grin plastered your face.

“Cheeky girl.” You could see that he was debating whether or not to introduce himself. Coming to a conclusion he stated, “I am General Hux of the First Order.”

You nodded your head, which caused you to wince as the ache in your chest began to stir. In those few moments, you had completely forgotten that you were just shot in the chest. You wish you could’ve forgotten forever because acknowledging the pain only made it more prominent.

“Are you going to execute me?” It was a predictable and justified question given your position.

“Frankly, we are not sure what to do with you yet.” Hux’s demeanor and expression remained completely neutral. “It would appear that you can harness the powers of the Force, but it is not certain whether or not that’d be useful to the Order or a threat.”

“I really don’t know about that. This has never happened before,” you tried to explain.

“Regardless, you will meet with Supreme Leader.” He moved behind you to undo the handcuffs, clearly not deeming you as a threat. “Go shower,” Hux pointed towards a bathroom. “There is a fresh pair of clothing in there as well.”

You nodded your head, grateful for the opportunity to get the grime of you. You heard a lock click after he left the room. Shrugging it off, you headed into the bathroom and began to strip. Looking in the mirror, you saw the wound, and man, it was not too pretty at all. Not that scars were a new thing to you. Your body was covered in them, just as they cover everyone who spent their whole life on the streets. You supposed that this would just be a new one to add to the collection.

The hot water burned, but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn down the heat. In a way, it was cleansing. It had to be the longest shower you’ve taken in quite awhile because you actually put in the effort to work out all the knots in your hair. And man, there were a lot.

After getting out and drying off, you examined the clothes set out for you. Black underwear, black t-shirt, black pants. You shrugged and didn’t care to complain. New and clean clothes were new and clean clothes no matter what color. It was difficult to remember the last time you had been this fresh and put together, if you even had been in the past. It was refreshing until you remembered the position you were in right now.

‘ _I fucked up._ ’ you chastised yourself. Each mistake you made played in your mind as you waited for someone to come in and tell you what you were doing. Do you just go with it, or do you try to escape? The former would certainly be the easier option, but if they chose to execute you, running would be the only way to avoid it.

The lock on the door clicked open, and you took a deep breath to calm your beating heart. ‘ _Come what may._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyye, I've been wanting to write a Kylo Ren piece since I first saw the movie, but I have been to lazy to do so. I'm finally fulfilling that want, so I hope everyone likes it! Any comments or kudos are very much appreciated and give me inspiration to keep going!


	2. 'All of them are Assholes'

Two stormtroopers entered the room and nudged you off the bed with their blasters.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m getting up, so can you quit it already?” you complained. 

“Silence thief.” One of them responded. Such a generic and empty response solicited a dramatic eyeroll from you. As you rose to standing position, your arms were bound behind you once more. Ah, and they added a blindfold this time. ‘ _ How kinky. _ ’ It was obviously put in place so that you couldn’t find wherever they were taking you again, which kind of pissed you off. Who was the genius that believed you to be too stupid to count the amount of steps between leaving your room and your destination? Not that you were keen to meet with the “Supreme Leader,” you hated such a pretentious title, once let alone multiple times. ‘ _ One, two, three… _ ’ When all was said and done, you counted about 352 steps, so that would be a pain to follow. There must have been a couple turns as well since you felt the draft change ever so slightly at different points during the walk. 

A couple of beeps rang out near your right side followed by the sound of a heavy door opening. You were shoved into what you assumed to be the newly opened door and cursed the ‘troopers as you lost your balance and smacked your head onto the metal flooring. Two hands lifted you back onto your feet and began to untie your restraints. You turned to see that it was the General, but he roughly moved your head so you were facing forward once more. The sight before you was unsettling, though perhaps even that term was an understatement. A giant projection of a humanoid-creature was sitting on what could only be called a throne. The face was scarred and mangled. In essence, he was ugly and you were sick of looking at him. Hux began walking ahead of you, only to stop when he noticed you were not following behind. You kept your eyes focused on the ground and you took longer strides to catch up.

Kylo Ren was standing near the base of the projection as well, only visible to you now after moving closer. Creepy.

“So this is the force-sensitive girl,” the projection spoke. It was a low and authoritative voice, pretty much what you expected upon looking at him.

“Yes, Supreme Leader; however, it appears that she wasn’t aware of it till our encounter,” Ren answered. The obedience in his tone made you feel gross. As someone who has never had anyone to follow or listen to, you simply didn’t understand the concept.

Gripping the arms of his seat, the Supreme Leader leaned forward to examine you closer. The last thing you wanted to do was make eye contact with the guy. “Tell me, who are you?”

Giving the bare minimum answer, you only stated your name.

Unsatisfied, he continued pressing. “And who do your loyalties lie with?”

“No one but myself.” It was a genuine answer. The First Order, the Republic, the Resistance--they were all essentially the same to you. You weren’t one to discriminate who to and who to not steal from when it came to bigger groups.

“Ren, peer into her mind to see the validity of her statement.” Your mouth opened at the order. It was ridiculous to you. What would you have to lie about when you’re in this position?

Kylo Ren nodded and raised his hand, focusing it on you. A ringing in your head stirred and it gave you the same feeling as an awful migraine.

“Ow, fucking stop,” you waved away whatever power he had over you. His form went rigid, most likely with anger and embarrassment. After all, he wasn’t able to follow through with the order of his precious leader. “I have no reason to lie… sir.” The sir was absolutely an afterthought, but you figured that some respect may just save your life.

The four of you sat in silence for over a minute as the Supreme Leader considered you. It was making you more anxious than you’ve been in all the years of your life. “You, girl, could prove useful.” An expression of shock crossed your features. “You will stay here under close watch and will be trained by the General and Ren.”

“But, Supreme--” Kylo Ren began to protest.

“Silence!” He boomed, and indeed, silence fell over everyone. “But know that at any moment, I can arrange your execution.” You slowly nodded your head, causing the joints to creak a bit. 

You began to back away until General Hux smacked you over the head and whispered into your ear, “Show some gratitude.”

You clenched your teeth and bowed forward. “Thank you very much, Supreme Leader.” It pained you to utter the phrase because you  _ really _ did not like that guy. Anyone who tried to assert their power rubbed you the wrong way though. As you and Hux walked towards the exit, you turned back and noticed that Kylo Ren was staying behind. Hux snapped his fingers in your face, forcing you to focus. Your nostrils flared with agitation. “You’re not going to blindfold me and tie me up this time?” you piped up.

“Considering how you will be staying here, and not as a prisoner, I deem no reason to restrain you,” it was such an uptight answer. ‘ _ Well shit, I counted all those steps for nothing. What a waste. _ ’ “And don’t even consider acting up, or I will restrain you myself,” he added.

You shrugged, “Wasn’t even thinking about it.” You were led back to your room.

“You will wait here and food will be brought to you.” Before you could respond, Hux already walked out and locked the door behind him. ‘ _ I thought I wasn’t staying as a damn prisoner. _ ’ Despite him not being able to see it, you still glared through the door.

* * *

After thirty minutes to an hour, food arrived just as the General promised, but you were still bored as all hell. “Can’t you bring me something to do?” you begged the stormtrooper who made the delivery. You batted your eyelashes and made the sweetest expression you could. You lost all hope when the ‘trooper left the room, but you perked up once again when he came back with a couple pieces of paper and a pencil. “Ah, thank you!” You did feel grateful to an extent. It wasn’t much, but it was better than staring at the dark wall all night--or was it day? Your mental clock was all sorts of fucked up.

“You are to stay in here until someone asks for you. The door will be locked, so there will be no escaping.” You didn’t really care to listen to the instructions, so you simply nodded, wanting the ‘trooper to leave already.

Your time consisted of doodling various things: Kylo Ren’s mask, a stormtrooper, Hux, dogs, cats, you name it. As the pencil tip dulled, you really wished that you had gotten a pencil sharpener. Perhaps it was a sign to go to sleep. You were sure the next day was going to be yet another shit show, so you didn’t want to be too exhausted. You set the drawings and pencil on the nightstand by the bed and crawled into it. Many would claim that it was uncomfortable, but as someone who often didn’t sleep in one, you were quite satisfied. Despite being held captive, you had more of the essentials than you’ve ever had before. Even so, you drifted to sleep with the thought that you’d give them up to go back to the way of living you’ve always known.

* * *

“Not bad, though the nose is a bit off.” You turned to your side with half-open eyes to see the General looking through your sketches. Immediately, you shot forward and tried to retrieve them, but he stepped backwards and evaded your grasp. Your face contorted with pain. The healing wound was still sore, and would remain so for the foreseeable future. “Who knew a criminal could have talent.” Your face was growing warmer by the second. The way he spoke to you as if you were leagues below you left a bad taste in your mouth.

“Just give the damn things back to me.” 

“You mean these things that you were not cleared to have?” Hux tore each page and your mouth dropped.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Angry tears began to well up in your eyes, but you did  _ not _ want to cry in front of this bastard.

“Instead of wasting your time with the arts, you should be training to become a better tool for the Order and earn your stay. Bored? Then do a workout or sleep.” His answer wasn’t an answer you cared for in the least bit.

“Wow, you’re a miserable fucking person aren’t you.” Your lip curled with disdain.

He leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling till you winced. “I will not be insulted by some street rat,” he whispered in your ear through gritted teeth.

Hux looked into your face to see you giving him a sardonic grin. “Move.” With one word, the General was pushed away from you by a couple feet. The flaring of his nostrils and narrowing of eyes pleased you because you both knew that you had a power he lacked. The  _ street rat _ was the one looking down on General Hux when it came to the Force. It was really playing into your power complex.

Gaining his composure once more, Hux began giving instructions. “You are to get ready. Quickly. A stormtrooper will lead you to a training room where I will be waiting. I will not go easy on you in the least.”

Your brows furrowed while you thought for a moment. “Shouldn’t I be training with Kylo Ren? I mean, he’s the one who could teach me how to harness the Force.”

While the General’s face did not change, you could still sense that he was insulted. Was being tuned to other’s feelings another aspect of the Force? You had so many questions. “Ren has left for a mission, so you will be with me.”

“Well when is he coming back?” You pouted. Training with Hux seemed like a waste of time since you were already familiar with basic combat skills.

“It matters not.” Simple, short. “Now get ready.”

You really hoped you didn’t seem eager to see Kylo Ren, you just wanted to learn more about yourself and what you could do, that was all. Aside from being able to teach you, you thought the guy seemed like an asshole. Then it dawned on you--all of them are assholes. Hux, Ren, Supreme Leader, the stormtroopers. It was the worst revelation you had yet. ‘ _ What if they turn ME into an asshole? _ ’ You groaned then grimaced. Some may claim you already are one. You shook your head, trying to clear it of any thoughts about assholes--any kind. There just wasn't enough time for that.

Your hair was pushed back and you had changed clothes by the time there was a knock at the door. It was a stormtrooper to escort you as promised. You were curious if it was the one from last night, but you chose not to ask. It was a fairly short trek to the training area. Some rooms had windows you could peer through, and you saw some officers practicing their aim at a firing range. It was slightly fascinating. The room you were led to, unsurprisingly, had no such view. It was closed off from every angle. The ‘trooper used an ID card and was granted access. They stood back while you were supposed to continue forward.

The door shut behind you almost immediately. It appeared the General had already begun his warm up. Looking to your right, you noticed his uniform top neatly folded and placed on a table. Hux was left in a tighter fitting black t-shirt as well as his pants. You ogled him for a bit before cursing yourself for thinking he was hot. But who could blame you? You were only human with a healthy libido. ‘ _ So what that his arms look really good in that shirt? I’ve seen PLENTY of hotter men. _ ’

“Are you going to come over here or continue to stare?” He was clearly mocking you, which made your lip curl. You hated that you couldn’t argue with him cause you were undeniably staring. Regardless, you made your way over to him. You watched him take a step back to examine you, which you weren’t a fan of. Being looked at for long periods just disturbed you. That made you kind of a hypocrite you supposed.

The General charged at you, effectively pulling your worries away from being stared at. You managed to sidestep the movement, but you stumbled as well out of surprise. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you,” you yelled. There was no answer, only a continuous pursuit. You were fighting entirely defensively since it had caught you so off guard. With each movement, you looked for an opportunity to switch positions, but it was difficult to keep things straight considering the copious amounts of adrenaline pumping through your body. 

Your eyes widened at the sight of gleaming metal. “You brought a fucking knife? Who brings a knife to an unscheduled fist fight?”

“Expect the unexpected.” A brief answer from him, shocking. Though you realized that he probably wanted to keep it short to better mask his heavy breathing. Maybe you could use stamina to your advantage? You couldn’t really formulate any plans while trying to avoid being cut or stabbed. ‘ _ I can’t believe the bastard brought a knife. _ ’ Taking advantage of your leg strength, you jumped and slid back to put distance between the two of you. But Hux used it as the chance to throw the knife at you like you were some kind of dartboard. ‘ _ Shit, it’s going for my shoulder. _ ’ Even while on the defensive, losing full capability in your dominant arm would be detrimental. You could always repel it with the Force, but that seemed unfair. Time seemed to slow, it was too late to dodge. Something was getting pierced. You threw the opposite hand up to block your shoulder. It fucking stung. The knife went clean through, handle resting on the top of your hand, blade exiting the palm. 

Hux, despite being tired, looked smug, thinking you would give up. You erupted with laughter. “Dumbass! You just gave up your trump card.” Sprinting as hard as your body would allow, you bulldozed right into his chest, knocking him over. You dislodged the knife and ripped it out of your hand. Did you look as crazed as you felt? You sat on his chest and pressed the tip of the blade against his throat.

The two of you stared at each other before he finally ordered you to get off. Some of your blood dribbled down the knife and stained the skin on his neck. Good, he deserved to get a little dirty. You shakily stood up, grimacing at your hand. You were getting injured left and right since you met these people. ‘ _ Annoying. _ ’ 

“You didn’t use the Force at all,” the General noted.

“That wouldn’t be a very fair fight now would it?” He didn’t like that response. “Plus,” you continued, “I need to be strong without it in case it leaves me somehow.”  _ Ding ding ding _ : that’s more of what he was looking for. Hux nodded thoughtfully, making you feel almost… accomplished? He gestured for you to follow him to the same table his uniform was placed. Pulling up a chair, you sat down. There was a kit underneath that he took out and opened.

“Your hand.” Hux held out his own. Despite your oh so rebellious nature, you obeyed. He quickly got to cleaning up and treating your wound.

“Wow. Never thought  _ you _ would help me out like this.” It was an honest comment.

“You’d be worthless if this got infected and you needed your hand amputated.” An honest answer?

“Yikes, that’s a bit extra.” Hux actually smirked in response.  ‘ _ Damn straight he’d smile. I’m a comedic genius. _ ’

“You did… okay. Better than expected, and I was pleased that you didn’t rely on your new power.” You couldn’t tell if those were supposed to compliments.

“Wait a moment. You say I was only okay, but you were the one on the ground, hm?”

“You’re right. I didn’t anticipate you would pull the knife out, but I have learned what you will do now. Do not think you’ll win again.” It was so matter-of-fact.  _ Prior analysis confirmed: he was indeed anal retentive _ . “Now that I have seen part of what you’re capable of, I can better shape a routine that’ll put you at optimum strength. You will be escorted back now.”

Your heart fell at the words. Even if you didn’t like the guy, it was nice to get out of that dingy room and have company. “When will I have some freedoms?” Your voice was softer now. It saddened you to be locked up.

The General turned to consider you once again. “I cannot say. Prove to me you deserve freedom during these sessions, and I’ll provide you with an answer.” It was a total non answer answer, but you knew it’d be futile to argue further. 

* * *

You collapsed into the bed as soon as you got back, all energy had been drained from your body. You stared at the bandaged hand as you drifted to sleep, thinking about the General and the ever mysterious Kylo Ren. They were to become big players in your life, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that there's not much Ren in this chapter! Hux should be given a little love too, right? Worry not, Crylo will make another appearance soon. Jokes aside, I am having so so much fun writing this and the positive comments bring a happy tear to my eye :')


	3. 'I Will Not Be Intimidated'

Your days over the course of a month consisted of getting sweaty with the General--not in the fun way. The training was tiring, rough, and a damn pain, but it was also something you looked forward to. While you still resented the bastard for keeping you there, there was a sense of fulfillment and companionship that you wouldn’t get if you were alone. Pestering Hux about telling you his first name and him scolding you for not using his full title kept your mind from eroding. Truly, you could not remember the last time you had seen someone so consistently.

You also gained some more freedom. You often wandered the halls of the Starkiller and stared out windows, watching the galaxy unfold before you. Another day, you were surprised to see the General in your room, dropping off a notebook with supplies and a few other books. “Paperback only,” he told you. But you didn’t mind in the least. You’ve never read a novel any other way. The current book you were reading was dystopian and fascinating, but very old. The cover was practically all destroyed so the title couldn’t be made out. It appeared the author had “Hux” somewhere in his name, which elicited a giggle from you.

Sometimes you’d even manage to convince him that a board game was training. “Dude, c’mon, board games are all about tactics!” That was your go to point each and every time. “Sure I need to be physically strong, but that’s not worth jack shit if I don’t have the critical thinking and analysis behind it.” And he would nod ever so slightly in agreeance. Though he’d never admit to it, Hux probably agreed on certain days just because he felt to tired to fight. Maybe he regretted the days he did though because you almost always beat him--be it chess or shit like Candy Land.

* * *

No longer needing an escort, you walked yourself to the training room, whistling a cheery tune. That’s when you saw Hux walking down the opposite hallway, so you skipped over to catch up. You tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. Some would say that that’s a ballsy move, but they probably never experienced _literal_ ball-sy and other awkward moves that came with fighting. He turned to face you with that neutral expression you’ve familiarized yourself with. “Are we not training today?”

“Ren is back.” A short, curt response. The General’s disdain for the other man was apparent.

“Oh, well alright! I’ll see you another time then.” He nodded and began his trek to his original destination once more. Your heart race picked up. ‘ _Is this nervousness?_ ’ You were disgusted. ‘ _Who even are you? You should not feel nervous about seeing some other punk bitch._ ’ You squished your cheeks a few times, trying to remember just who the hell you were and get rid of any unnecessary nerves. Sure, it had been awhile since you had seen the man who wanted to kill you, and you certainly hadn’t been practicing harnessing the force whatsoever. And sure, you were probably about to be severely embarrassed by your incompetence. And also--you stopped yourself from continuing that train of thought. _‘I’m the fucking worst at pep talks. That made me want to die more._ ’ You shuddered and decided to never try that again.

Upon entering, you didn’t know exactly what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t pure darkness. You could not see Kylo Ren, or anything for that matter, but you felt him somewhere in the room. The hairs on the back of your neck went stiff. You absolutely loathed feeling like you were being watched by something not visible to you. ‘ _How the hell could one person’s presence be so dreary? What a grim fucker._ ’

“Alright, alright.” You began to clap. “This is good and everything, clearly displays your aesthetic, but can we stop this already? It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

Instantaneously, a crackling red light illuminated your face. On the other end of it was none other than Kylo Ren. It was so close to you that your eyes slightly crossed in order to look at it. With each step you took backwards, he countered with one step forward.

“Are you going to kill me or what?” You were tired of this game. It was like a cat playing with a mouse before devouring it.

“Is that what you’d like?” His distorted voice came out. You shrugged while giving him an empty expression. You were not about to cower before the most-likely-goblin-looking-asshole. Kylo Ren clicked the lightsaber off, but you could feel his hand reaching forward. ‘ _Shit, is he really planning to choke me out right now?_ ’ You shut your eyes in preparation for contact that never came. The room brightened, and you looked to the side to see Ren’s hand on a light switch.

“Ahah,” the laugh came out incredibly forced. “You got me.” There was about a foot’s distance between you two, and instead of backing away, he placed his other hand on the vacant side of your head. You could feel your cheeks flushing as you looked at the reflection of your eyes in the mask. “Look, I really, _really_ don’t like being stared at like this…” No response. The discomfort had your skin itching. An anxious noise escaped you as you ducked under his arms to finally get some space. “So let’s get down to it, what are we doing today?” He sat on the floor with no response. You watched as he stayed perfectly silent and still. You mimicked him by sitting. “What is this for?”

“You’re annoying,” the emotionless voice rang out. You glared at him.

“Well you’re a creep!” You retorted in aggravation.

“Just sit and think.” Despite your now foul mood, you listened. Your thoughts hopped from place to place--your book, fighting, missing your old life, the General, and the man beside you. At some point during the session, he stood up and began walking towards the door. And once again, you copied his movements. You reached forward to tap him, wanting to ask if it’d be the same time and place tomorrow, but he whipped around and stopped your hand midway. Easily, you broke his hold with your own Force, but instead of continuing your previous motion, you turned on your heel and stormed away. “Have a good night, _Kyle_.” You were fuming. Ren was infuriating, insufferable, irritating. You didn’t do anything to the guy, except maybe kick and punch him a few times, and he was already being an asshole to you. Upon returning to your room, you flung yourself onto the bed and screamed into a pillow. You thought you wanted to punch him in the face before, and now you wanted to do that and take his eyes out as well.

Restlessness had you tossing and turning for what felt like hours before you decided to give up falling asleep. You peeled yourself of the bed and began to wander about the ship with no regards towards your nightgown and lack of shoes. Officers aboard the ship gave you odd looks as they shuffled past, and you imagined stormtroopers did the same. No one questioned you though, they knew you were a “special guest” on the Starkiller. Without intentionality, you wandered to your favorite area: an expanse of glass that showcased the universe. You lost yourself in each burst of color provided by the stars. You completely lost track of how much time you spent day dreaming before commotion pulled you back to reality. You scrambled up from the floor and headed towards the loud gnashing sounds. ‘ _What the fuck is wrong with you?_ ’ was all you could think as you watched Kylo Ren slash into the ship with his red lightsaber. As if hearing your thoughts, he turned to face you and withdrew the ‘saber. ‘ _Wait, he can’t hear thoughts can he? That would be yikes._ ’

He strode over to you, taking the stance of a predator. “Do you fear me?”

“Yeah fucking right.” All your anger from earlier bubbled to the surface. “I’m not going to help get you off by giving you the reaction you want.” The onlookers’ expressions were ones of shock and horror, but that wasn’t going to stop you from giving him a piece of your mind. “Regardless of everyone else’s feelings, I will _not_ be intimidated by a cunt like you.”

His hand was quickly on your throat, constricting your airway and lifting you off the ground, which you were truthfully a little impressed by since he was only using one arm. ‘But if I get petechial hemorrhaging, I’ll be pissed. That is a look I am not ready to wear.’ You tried to claw his hands off, but he squeezed tighter. Black dots began to obscure your vision, and with the last bit of consciousness, you spat on his helmet.

* * *

“Must you insist on being problematic?” With your eyes still shut, you immediately recognized Hux’s voice.

“Don’t,” you stopped, surprised by how hoarse your voice came out. “Don’t blame it all on me. He was the one slashing the ship.”

“I don’t entirely blame you. But regardless of who’s at fault, Ren ranks higher than you and could propose your execution.” He wasn’t wrong, but you still felt bitter.

“I’m sure he already has,” you rolled your eyes.

“I doubt it. He’s the one who brought you here,” Hux smirked at your furrowed brows. It was only then that you noticed you were in a medbay.

“What the hell, why?” You confusion was completely genuine. The General shrugged in response. While he was still uptight, your interactions were becoming more colloquial, more human. “So first he chokes me out, and then he takes me to the doctors. Truly a gentleman.” Your fists clenched.

“Listen carefully: If you play nice, if you two can get along, I’ll tell you my name.” Your eyes lit up. It was like a parent tempting a child to behave in public with the promise of candy. Not that you ever experienced it, but you would see it. Does that make Hux your dad? You shuddered. ‘ _Weird. Weird. Weird._ ’

“Ugh,” you dragged the groan out. You had a dramatic appearance to keep up after all. “I guess I’ll be nice.” You suddenly shot up from the cot. “My eyes, my eyes. I need a mirror or something reflective.” The General looked at you with scrutiny, but obliged and brought you to a mirror nearby. You leaned in closely. One broken blood vessel in your eye. Honestly, you were quite surprised by the discovery--happily so. To be knocked out cold and sustain such little damage was amazing. Sure, you had a handprint bruised on your neck, but that could be covered up easily enough.

“Come,” he motioned with his hand. Naturally, you followed, interested to know what he would show you. In the end, he simply brought you back to your room.

“Eh?”

“Get some rest, you look like hell.”

"Wow General, did you just swear?" You sarcastically gasped.

He flicked your forehead and shook his own head. "Just get going."

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Hux." He nodded in response, very typical and withdrawn. You thought it’d be impossible to sleep after being knocked out for so long, but as soon as you laid on that lumpy mattress, you were out like a light.

* * *

The next morning, you stood in front of the training room door for a few minutes before deciding to enter. When you saw Kylo Ren waiting for you once again, you took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Looking into his helmet, you held your right hand. “Truce?” He seemed to just stare at it, and frankly, your arm was getting tired. You sighed and began to return your arm to your side, but before it reached that point, Ren reached forward and grabbed your hand. Your eyes widened, then the cheesiest grin broke out on your face as he gave it a quick shake. You thought the physical contact was finished, but he reached up higher to touch your neck. The leather felt cool against your skin, giving you goosebumps. You were confused before you remembered you were wearing a t-shirt that hid nothing. “Oh yeah,” with a laugh, “these. Thanks for that.” You glanced to your side and softly brushed your fingertips against the bruises. It was unclear to you why there was a dull ache in your heart when his hand withdrew.

“Meditating. Now.”

“Really? Again? Can’t we do something more fun, I don’t know. Like we could fight or play a game or--”

“Stop complaining. Do you want to grow stronger or would you rather die?”

“Stronger…” you heavily sighed. Before he could seat himself, you blurted what has been on your mind since the other day. “Why did you bring me to the medbay? Why didn’t you just kill me?”

“I did it on a whim. No more questions, you need to focus.” His answer disappointed you, though you shouldn’t have expected anything more than that. Of course your life is only a damn matter of whims to him. “Quiet your thoughts.”

“Dude, you seriously read minds?”

“I said no more questions.”

“Hmph. I’ll be asking tomorrow then, and I expect an answer.” There was still a smidge of tension in the air, but you tried to block it out. With each breath you drew, time began to move slower until it felt as though it entirely stopped.

“Can you feel it?”

“Uh huh,” was all you could manage. It was so overwhelming and new to you. Your head was reeling and you lurched forward. You were certain that your head was about to smack against the metal floor, but an arm caught you.

“This is the third time you’ve made me catch you.” ‘ _Third time?_ ’ Just now was one, when he choked you was obviously two, but three? A rosey shade found its way on your face at the memory. ‘ _When we first met._ ’ You remembered falling into something warm, but figured you imagined it. In what world would Kylo Ren prevent a petty thief from crashing into the dirt? “The world we’re currently in it seems.”

“Get out of my damn head!” Your lips formed an ‘O.’ “You just answered another question!”

Ren knocked you upside the head and got up. “Before you ask, same place, same time.” He then proceeded to leave room. You sat by yourself for a little longer, not ready to stand.

You passed the General on your way back to your room. He quirked a brow, and you gave a thumbs up to answer the silent question he asked you. A minute smile graced his face, and you felt a sense of accomplishment. One step closer to learning Hux’s name. One step closer to controlling the Force. One step closer to Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really go back and check my work, so apologies for any errors! These two are just so damn tense with together, and yet they're intrigued by the other. It was another fun chapter to write, and I'm excited to continue developing their relationship in the chapters to come. So do you guys know what novel Reader was, well, reading?


	4. 'My Own Merit'

Your heart nearly seized when you woke up to Kylo Ren at the edge of your bed. “What the fuck is wrong with you people and watching me sleep?” You clutched your chest.

“You cry in your sleep.”

Your face reddened with embarrassment. “So? What’s wrong with that? I can’t help it.”

“I felt your dream. So much agony, so much despair. Has your life been painful?” The dull thrumming in your head told you that he was trying to probe your mind for answers. You resisted with a scowl.

“Ren, I’m a thief whose home is on the streets. Do you think my life has been fluffy and wholesome?” Annoyance laced your voice.

“Would you not agree that this is your home now?” His head cocked to the side. This place certainly had become more home-y to you. The shower was filled with scented soaps you picked out yourself. The walls contained your drawings, the shelves were full of books. You even convinced the General to buy you a pillow softer than brick.

“I guess it is.” You really hated admitting that someone else could be right. Pride was your bane, it seemed.

He stood up. “Training.”

“Eh? I’m not even ready yet.”

“I gave you instruction yesterday.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think that still applied after you fucking decided to stop by.

“You know what they say about assuming.” Was that a hint of amusement in his voice?

“Damn, that was reeeally lame, even for you.” Ren ushered you away to get up and get ready. “Whatever,” you put a long drag on the ‘r.’ You shuffled to your dresses and then to the bathroom. Stripping, you examined yourself as you had been doing every other day. Despite this situation continuing for over a month, it was still unfamiliar to see a clean, put-together you. Change, big change at least, was not something you dealt with well. It rattled your core for awhile. Hopefully the aching in your chest each time you really thought about your position would dissipate soon. 

Ready after a moment to yourself, you strode down the halls, side by side with Kylo Ren. As you passed a group of three stormtroopers, you heard them snicker.

“Do you have something to fucking say?” You shot them a fiery glare.

One of the ‘troopers piped up, clearly not taking you seriously. “Just wondering if the General’s whore has become Kylo Ren’s as well,” he laughed. “Why else would they keep a criminal with a pretty face around?”   
A rush of force washed over you and you punched the metal wall of the ship, putting a clean hole through it. They immediately straightened up. “I am no whore,” you hissed out. “ I am here because of my own powers and abilities, and I would destroy all of you bitches in a fucking minute.” Your violent thoughts of fury quieted as two hands clasped your shoulders.

“Relax. Do not needlessly waste your energy on the weak.” A shiver ran down your spine as your body detoxed from the anger, and you agreed to give up your urge to kick their asses into oblivion. You stuck your tongue out at the stormtroopers and turned on your heel. You cringed at the thought of apologizing to Hux about damaging his ship. ‘ _ But it was to defend his reputation too! _ ’ You tried justifying to yourself. Reaching the training room, you figured you’d have to meditate on it.

* * *

“Why do you continue to think about it?” Ren broke the silence.

“Because why the hell would anyone be saying that about me? I have done nothing to imply that I’m anyone’s whore.”

“Jealousy is a strong feeling. Without trying, you immediately rose above their station. As your teacher, per se, it’s shameful to see you fall for their taunts.”

“Well sorry for disappointing you,  _ teach _ .” You rolled your eyes. “But I deserve respect. I’m here by my own merit.” Not that you tried to be force sensitive or anything, but you were still quick, cunning, and skilled on your own. You had gotten away from countless stormtroopers on your previous raids--the successful ones at least.

“Then earn respect. Stop focusing on a petty ordeal and focus on becoming stronger.” You pouted at the black clad man with his helmet.

“Maybe I’d be able to focus more if I wasn’t sitting next to a robot?” You proposed the statement like a question and request.

“No.” So curt, short, and annoying. Why couldn’t the man take a joke?

“Is it because you’re ugly?”

“Ugly?” The typical one word response.

“Yeah, like a goblin or a troll. That’s what I’ve always pictured at least. Crusty and warty skin with and atrocious nose and bad tee--” Before you could finish your lovely depiction of the oh so powerful Kylo Ren, you felt your throat constrict. ‘ _ You fucker. _ ’

The invisible hold tightened up a bit. “I recommend you be careful of what you say and think. Do not forget that your pathetic life of thievery and despair still hangs in my hand.” Your nostrils flared and eyes narrowed with anger. You were not about to have some asshole in a cape assert dominance over you like the alpha male. You wheezed when your neck was finally free again. 

“Isn’t lonely having everyone afraid of you? Of loathing you?” 

“I feel no such sentiments, and you are to do the same if you wish to be of optimum usage. Something as fleeting as a feeling has led to the downfall of many. Feelings make one weak. I will not be the same.”

“I disagree.” You thought back to your life previously. It was the moments when you had someone to care for, someone to protect, that you could fight your hardest. There was an empty feeling inside you when you realized you no longer had anyone. “Feelings of anger, despair, and love are all apart of the human condition. You can try to fight against your nature as hard as you’d like, but it’s all futile.” And afterthought popped into your mind. “Oh, and I’m not a fucking tool, so get that ‘optimum usage’ bullshit out of here.”

“Do you believe that you truly have control of your life here? You were taken into the First Order to be used, not to be an individual.”

“I will  _ always _ be an individual, even if it takes my life.” Who would have imagined that a relatively playful request like seeing Kylo Ren’s face would lead to so much discourse? It pissed you off that something so small blew up. Okay, maybe you took it a little far with your unkind (to say the least) description, but his reaction was still unwarranted as hell. You deemed it best to get out of the situation before you did something stupid like you typically do. “And with that, I bid you goodbye.” He watched you leave, not bothering to stop you. 

Walking away annoyed as ever, you passed by the General and he looked at you with scrutiny. He must’ve caught wind of your little fit that morning. ‘ _ No time like the present to expose myself _ ,’ you dejectedly sighed. “So, um, I kinda damaged the ship a little, ha… ha. My bad.” Your forced smile wavered at the daggers shooting from his eyes. His rage juxtaposed Ren’s in almost every way. Hux was cold, seemingly passionless, and calculated in his punishments. You couldn’t determine which of the two was worse. He pinched and pulled you by the ear. “Ow ow.”

“It appears that Ren’s detestable habits are rubbing off on you. Is he training you to have a short temper. ” He glared at you

“Not true! They said I was your whore, so I was defending you too, man!” That wasn’t a necessarily lie, but that definitely wasn’t your intention in the heat of the moment.

“I am not so weak that I need you to defend me.” Hux seemed slightly offended.

“Damn, I said I’m sorry!” You were exasperated and didn’t know what else you could say. All you knew was that you didn’t want the man to make your life hell.

“Then prove it.” He looked you dead in the eye expectantly.

“What? How? Woah.” Hux leaned in close to your face, tipping your chin upwards and slowly leaning in.

“You could become my whore for real.” You pulled back, eyes wide and furiously blushing. ‘ _ Oh god, I’m not about this. _ ’ His lips quivered and he let out a laugh. How foreign for someone as anal as him. “As if.”

“You--you’re an asshole! This is how rumors get started!” Did everyone on the ship have to aggravate you? Did they enjoy having you in a corner and poking you with a stick, metaphorically of course? “Bastards, every last one of you.”

Before Hux could talk shit back to you, a vibration came from the holopad he always held. “It appears we are being summoned by Supreme Leader--you included.”

“Fuck me, what could it possibly be this time?” Unable to catch a break, you were dragged along. “Is Ren going to be there too?” You piped up.

“Yes.” You grimaced at his response. The Knight was truly the last person you wanted to see right now. “From your expression, I take it the two of you aren’t getting along well. I guess you really don’t care to know my name.”

“Not true! He’s just a rude fucker for no reason. I’m trying.”

“Try harder.” What a stupid response. You couldn’t get along with someone if they didn’t put in any effort. You blew a raspberry at him and he flicked your head. “Mind your behavior.” So many parallels between the two men, your head reeled. Standing at the doors to Supreme Leader’s chamber, the General turned to you. “Are you ready?”

“I mean, yeah, I guess. I hardly think that matters.”

“Smart girl.” Not like you could give a shit about whether or not he was “proud” of you.

“Let’s get a move on then, my guy.” You walked ahead of him, eager to get things over with asap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Gasp-What could Reader possibly be asked to do this time?And precious Ren, you're still a little asshole. Sorry that I neglected this the past couple weeks! Life has been whack, so bleh, I couldn't bring myself to do anything. And I of course didn't want to put out a 500 word chapter lol. Oh! And if you want to put in a request for anything you'd like to see, or if you just want to talk, shoot me an ask on tumblr at ichirakujutsu!


	5. 'Take the Chance'

You were immediately being analyzed upon entering the room. Snoke first turned to Hux. “How is she doing?” He rasped out.

“Excellent, sir. She is proficient in hand to hand combat. Knife skills, good aim, and advanced strategic capability.” As he went through the list, all you could think about was how fucking amazing you were. Supreme Leader nodded his head and hummed in approval.

“And you, Kylo Ren?” The General gave Ren a challenging side look, daring him to give a more glowing review.

He thought for a moment, searching for the optimum selection of words. “She is capable of repelling probes to her mind, and she has learned to focus around her.” The response certainly fell short of the one before it. ‘ _ Yikes _ .’ You weren’t sure if you or the bastard in black were going to pay for this disappointment.

“Can she harness it in a fight?” Supreme Leader pushed farther.

“We haven’t gotten to that yet. I was on my mission for her first month on board.”

“Enough excuses,” the hologram’s voice boomed, and immediately, Ren stopped and straightened out. A sly grin crossed your face, it was nice seeing him be a submissive  dog with his tail between his legs.

Snoke addressed you, “Your progress is not satisfactory. Was it a mistake to grant you mercy?”   
You shrugged your shoulders, annoyed. “I’ve asked  _ Master Ren _ to do more than meditate with me.”

“Watch your tone,” Hux hissed beside you.

“Ah, my sincere apologies,” you bowed. “I still have those street manners it seems.” Your words were still laced with false genuity.

Snoke peered down at you with his mangled face. “Since you still haven’t progressed towards mastering the force, your first assignment will be a more diplomatic one.” Your brows furrowed. “You’ll be attending an event hosted by the Order to convince more galactic officials to support our cause.”

“Fucking hell,” you cursed. Being in a crowded place and getting looked at was a nightmare for you. Why wouldn’t it be though? You were a person who worked alone and snuck around, not someone who was used to being in the spotlight. “And when is this to take place?”

General Hux answered for you, “Tomorrow night.”

“And with that, I have no other assignments for you. You may leave,” Snoke dismissed you. Once you exited the chamber, you let out a long groan and continued it as you walked back to your room. You thrashed in your bed for hours, dreading the next day to come.

* * *

The next night you were made to get ready with some of the other female officers attending, but all you really knew was how to brush your hair. Not to mention the fact that you had nothing to wear. ‘ _ If they’re going to force this shit show on me, they should’ve at least given me the clothes. Fuckers. _ ’ You felt embarrassed next to the other officers, they were all dolled up while you were just… you. It wouldn’t normally be a bother to you, but you were already anxious for the night.

A hand gripped your shoulder and spun you around. “You are not going like that are you?” It was one of the officers in the room. ‘ _ She’s fucking gorgeous. _ ’ you thought to yourself. Short light blonde hair, blue eyes, and strong features. She was donned in a golden gown. You were just staring before realizing she asked you a question.

You scratched the back of your neck. “Yeah, I am, hahah.” Her jaw dropped as if she was shocked.

“Not under my watch,” followed by a tut. The woman maneuvered you to a chair in the room, and you sat down with an ‘Oof.’ She peered closely into your face and lit up as if she had an ‘Aha!’ moment. She shuffled around a table and picked up an array of products. After making sure there was no hair in your face, the officer began applying the makeup. Her hands moved gracefully and gently, she’d clearly done this routine before. You shuddered at the thought of how damn scruffy you’d look is you were left to doing your own makeup. “Ven! Go get that black dress of mine!” Her voice was powerful and compelling. She seemed used to giving out orders.

“Yes Captain!” The girl responded with a bow and scurried off in search of the dress.

“Captain?” You questioned.

“Ah yes, I have yet to introduce myself,” she chuckled. “I’m Phasma, Captain Phasma.” You almost shot up from the chair, but she held you in place. “Be still or I’ll mess up the eyeliner.” You train with the General, you train with Kylo Ren, and now Captain Phasma is doing your makeup. ‘ _ My god, what has happened to my simple life? _ ’ You let out a deep sigh, a bit disheartened by your reality. “How have the boys been treating you?”

“Oh you know, they’re cunts. Hux is an uptight asshole, but at least he treats me like an autonomous person now. Though he still acts as if he’s my weird father or some trash like that.  Ren, well,” you pursed your lips, “I’m pretty certain he hates me, even though he continues to help and save me in little ways. But whatever, I don’t care, he’s a violent little shit.”

“Hm,” she hummed thoughtfully. “I doubt he hates you. Ren would let anyone who he deemed useless and a nuisance die.” You just shrugged in response, there was no way in hell that you could figure out Kylo Ren’s thought pattern when he was constantly keeping you away from him. “Alright, up, up.” The other woman had come back with the dress. It was made of lace and in a deep shade of black. It had a rather generous ‘v’ cut in both the front and back with sleeves that went midway down the arm. All you could think about was how beautiful it was, but you didn’t feel as though you deserved it.

“I really can’t have that. It’s way to nice for someone like me,” you gave a sad smile. 

“Someone like you?”

“Yeah, you know, a criminal, street rat, et cetera, et cetera.” 

“You are a powerful member in the First Order, no longer a thief,” she assured you and pushed the dress towards you. Those you spoke to often said that you weren’t who you were, but the past wasn’t something you could let go of. You reached out for the dress, amazed by the texture. She shooed you to a little room to change in. When you came out, she flashed her brilliant teeth and hugged you. “Lovely.”

You hugged her back but when you pulled away a question hit you. “Why are you being so nice to me? I heard you were harsh and tyrannical,” you admitted.

“That’s true, but it’s lonely being the only woman at the top. I would love nothing more than level out the field with the boys.” You giggled.

“Fair enough.”

“Are you ready to go?” Turning around and glancing in the mirror once more, you felt as though you could cry. Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine looking like this. Gold and black was elegantly blended onto your eyelids, perfectly winged eyeliner, and a golden highlight on your cheekbones. You teared up a little, but shook the thought away. Crying would only mess up the wonders the Captain did for you.

“Yeah,” it was a soft response. Phasma put her arm out for you to grab, which you happily agreed to. The two of you strode off together and towards the venue. Upon getting there, she dismissed herself. As soon as she left your side, your eyes looked past the hoard of people to find someone you recognized. It was a relief when you saw the General standing near a table, and you briskly walked towards him. 

“Wow, who would’ve known that the street rat could clean up so well.” Hux seemed pleased by your appearance, happy that you wouldn’t tarnish the Order’s reputation with a typical look.

“Thanks, Dad,” you rolled your eyes and he smirked. “Sooo, what do I even do? This shit seems way too bougie for me.”

“First of all, watch your mouth here. I know that’ll be difficult for you, but please.”

“Only if you beg nicely.” He pinched your back. “Ow, fucker.”

“Just enjoy the food, dance if someone asks you, give your support for the first order. Just be diplomatic like you were told to do. Oh,” Hux added, “And don’t follow me the whole time.”

“Understood, I guess.” You made your way to a different table and downed a flute of champagne. ‘ _ Perhaps a little intoxication could make this feel less fuckin’ weird. _ ’ But before you could get another one in your system, you were interrupted by a stranger asking for a dance. It was a chore and you would’ve rather not, but you were not in the mood to be reprimanded. And he was not the last to ask.The requests didn’t really cease, yet something still felt out of place. Finally getting the chance to break away, you noticed a man standing alone in the corner of the hall. Intrigued, you made your way to him, once again thankful that your flats let you walk normally. As you got closer, you were able to get a good look at him, and he was beautiful. The man had dark and wavy hair, deep brown eyes, and a cute nose. He was in all black, which had you giggling to yourself about how he looked like an emo fuck. “Not one for parties, huh?” He didn’t respond, only looking at you out of the corner of his eye. You continued, “Me neither, honestly.”

“You sure talk a lot.” You gave him a sheepish grin.

“You’re right,” with a shrug. You stepped in front of him and held your hand out. “Wanna dance?” He stared at you and blinked. The longer you had your hand out and empty, the more embarrassed you felt for asking. You had nearly given up, but the man took your hand in his own. And damn, you swore it felt like deja vu. It was pleasant feeling the warm hand in your own colder one. When the two of you got to the floor, his hands cautiously found their way down to your hips, and you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“So why are you here?” The question caught you a little off guard.

“Well, I suppose you could say I’m here to support the First Order.”

“ _ Do you _ support the First Order?” He pressed further. You considered his question. Technically, you were supposed to tell anyone who asked that you pledged undying allegiance to the Order, but you felt a natural level of comfort with this man. Perhaps because the two of you appeared to be outcasts at the event.

“Truthfully, I don’t particularly care about their ideals, and there are certainly aspects I disagree with. But there are people I respect there, and I feel in my heart that something interesting will happen if I stay.” A soft smile graced your features, and he pulled you closer till your head rested on his chest causing your body to heat up.

“Do you get along with the others?” You were surprised that a stranger would ask so much. ‘ _ Mayge to get a look into the interactions of the Order? _ ’

“Eh, so so,” you frowned. “I try to play nice, but at the same time, I bow for no one.”

He hummed. “That’s both admirable and foolish.”

“Admirable and foolish, hm? That’s me in a nutshell.” The talking stopped there, but the two of you continued swaying on the floor. You would quietly sing along to the music, it was a love of yours after all. You were given instruction to go back at the start of a specific song, but it took you halfway through to realize it was the one. You jumped back. ‘ _ Damn it, the asshole is going to be pissed at me. _ ’ “Ah! I guess I’m supposed to go now. I had a lovely time, thank you.” He nodded, the corner of one side of his mouth upturned ever so slightly. You peered in close to his face. Gently placing your palms on either side of his face, you decided to take the chance and plant a brief kiss on his lips. ‘ _ A little innocent fun with a cute stranger can’t hurt. _ ’ You grinned, waved, and skipped away before the man could make any sort of comment about the kiss.

When you got through the crowd and stood next to the General, he stared at you with a shocked look you’ve never seen before. “What’s up with your face, man?” It was giving you the creeps.

“Do you realize what you’ve done?” His tone was grave.

“What? The kiss?” A curt nod came from Hux. “Shit, I hardly think it’s a big deal,” you laughed and dismissed his worries with a wave. “Not like I’ll ever see the guy again! I didn’t even get his name.”

He cringed a little and shook his head, “We’ll talk more about this later.”

“What the hell? Are you actually mad? It was just a kiss! What’s the problem?” You were exasperated.

“Later.” You could tell by his voice that this was his final answer.

“You’re a fucking grouch. You know that?” Regardless, you followed him out of the venue and back onto Starkiller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Kylo Ren isn't a disgusting goblin after all... not that Reader knows just yet. But wow wow wow a bit of romance. I felt all warm and fluffy writing this. I just wanted to write something fun!


	6. 'Mental.'

“Is kissing strangers a habit of yours, little thief?” The question caught you way the fuck off guard and you sputtered.

“Fuck, who told you? But in my defense, I was a little bit tipsy and he was hot and I gotta be just an itty bit problematic sometimes.” He cocked his head. “Keeps things interesting,” you responded to his silent question.

“Foolish.”

“Yet admirable he said!” You defended yourself.

“So I hear.” You shifted uncomfortably where you sat, embarrassed by the way he exposed you. ‘ _ Damn it damn it damn it. _ ’ The phrase repeated over in your mind. “Enough meditating, your mind is clearly on other things. We’re getting into real experience today.”

You hopped up. “Really?”

“You’re rather eager.”

“Well, duh, this is all I’ve wanted to do with you!”

“Oh, and nothing more?” The he talked as if he knew something you didn’t made your skin crawl.

“Are you going to stop harassing me so we can get on with this?” It was getting irksome.

“One could claim I was harassed, but let’s move on.”

“The fuck do you mean?” You didn’t know what he was implying, but you were sure you wouldn’t like it. No response from the man in black. “Alright, be all silent and brooding, whatever.”

Ren grabbed a dull sword from the opposite side of his hip than his lightsaber and threw it to you. You caught it with ease. “First, I will turn on a mechanism that will send a barrage of attacks your way. If you’re truly strong with the Force, you should have no trouble predicting the movements so you can dodge and counter.”

“Oy fuckin’ vey… Wait, I never even claimed to be strong with it!” You didn’t care if you were  _ strong _ , you just wanted to know the extent of whatever shit you had going on.

“If you’re not, we’ll simply put you to death,” a nonchalant reply.

“Regardless of the Force, I’m still better in skill and combat that all your brigade of ‘troopers!”

“But that makes you a threat. You are an individual, not conditioned from birth unlike the stormtroopers. If you have nothing of value other than physical strength and width, then why take a risk with you? The Force is around us all, but being able to harness it is a gift. A gift useful enough to risk betrayal.”

“Isn’t General Hux here purely because of strength and wit!”

“You’re right; however, his diligence and work for the First Order makes him no threat for treason.” You imagined that this was the nicest thing Kylo Ren had ever said about the General.

“Well,” you sighed. “ I guess today determines my fate. I had always been ready to die, but being sheltered here has made me a bit greedy for more time to live.” A sad smile crossed your face before you remembered just who you were and the emotional strength inside you. ‘ _ No time for sadness! _ ’ “Oh well!” You shrugged. You twirled the sword around, determining its weight and balance. “Alrighty then, I’m ready.” Ren nodded and hit a button.

A spiked, metal ball whizzed past you. The thought of that thing nailing you anywhere made you grimace. Quite honestly, if a ball cracked you right in the skull, there would no longer be a reason to put you to death because you would’ve already gotten got. You made sure to get in ready stance in preparation for the next ones to come. Countless shot forward and you made damn sure to give each one a good thwack the fuck away from you. It was reminiscent of a batting cage… except everything was coming at you from all sides at once, and it definitely wouldn’t classify as a fun pass time. More than likely, you looked like a lunatic flailing about--flinging your body this way, swinging the sword around that way. If Kylo Ren was a human with feelings, you were sure he’d be having a fucking laugh at the sorry state you were in. “Can we, like, stop this now?” You sputtered, the words being paused with each ball you had to thwart away. Used to the maneuvering and feeling of the exercise, you could keep your eyes on him while not getting hit to see if he would make any moves towards the stop button. Instead, the cunt just looked at you for awhile. Aggravated, you swung your blade and knocked the metal ball right at him. Kylo Ren dodged, but not before one of the spikes nicked his helmet. Only after that did he stop the machine. Your upper body collapsed, leaving you huffing. “That was proper mental,” you wheezed. Regaining some semblance of composure, you lifted yourself up to look at his helmet and gulped. It was more than a mere surface scratch--it was a genuine gash.

“Do you enjoy infuriating me?”

“Well, I mean, kinda, I guess. Only when you piss me off first though! But hey, I really didn’t mean for it to be that bad. I’m sorry,” you tried giving him your sweetest smile possible. Ren’s hand moved forward, and he utilized the force to push you down to the ground. ‘ _ Shit, so this is what it’s like when he gets serious. _ ’ Your body shook furiously as you tried to resist the pressure, but it was useless. With a loud crack, your skull banged against the floor and a boot rested on top your head to keep you from getting up. 

“Ignorant fool.” You heard a hissing sound above you, but couldn’t see a thing. His hand pulled you up by the hair-- _'Do you want me up or down, bitch? Goddamn.'_ \--and a black mass was popped on your head. It was his helmet, and damn was it messed up. The damage completely obscured the vision and you really began to feel guilty. You tried to turn around to apologize again, and check out that face, but he held you firmly in place. With the single wave of his hand, he knocked you out. As your eyes fluttered shut, you had no idea what punishment to expect upon your return to the conscious world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so lame and short, I have been trying to grind on loans and scholarships so I can actually go to college this semester lol. I have a lot planned for this story with relationships and powers and all that, so I'm not sure if I should start making chapters a lot longer, or if I should just be posting more!


	7. 'You?'

Your head pulsed with pain as you awoke to a far too brightly lit room. You tried to cover your eyes but found yourself restrained. “The fuck?” Once more, you tugged on the restraints, trying to break free. Adrenaline flooded your veins and caused your mind to panic.

“So you’re finally awake?” It was Ren, that much you could easily tell by the feeling of his presence, but you could not see him since he was standing behind the chair you were restrained to. He laid his hand on your head, and you were shocked to feel that it was not gloved. “When will you give up on being so disagreeable?”

“Never, I’d imagine. Bowing to others isn’t how you survive in the real world.”

“Bowing and submitting is how you will survive here,” he countered. You also realized that there was no vocoder altering his voice. “It appears you need to be reminded just who your loyalties are pledged to.”

“Don’t be foolish. I have pledged allegiance to no one,” you were becoming aggravated. “Just let me out of here. _Please_.”

“You may want to change that then, or you’ll certainly be embarrassed.” His tone was one of amusement, much to your chagrin. “And though it’s satisfying to hear the word please come from you, it isn’t enough.

After a few moments of silence, a buzzing sound entered the room and you thrashed, trying to free yourself and look at what it was. Ren’s hand rested on top of your eyes, and he continued stroking your hair with the other. There was a gentle “Shhh,” in your ear. You shuddered at the feeling of his breath. The sound of grew closer till you could sense that it was hovered over you.

“Are you sure, Lord Ren?” A meek voice piped up over the noise. Ren must’ve nodded yes because the next second your ribcage began to burn. You moaned in agony at the feeling of your skin being repeatedly pierced.

“Are you fucking tattooing me?” You screamed.

“Decide your loyalties, or as I said, you’ll be embarrassed.”

“You didn’t answer the damn question,” you grit your teeth. At this point, he didn’t even need to reply. You knew it was happening. “Better not be fucking daft, you dinge-y cunt.” You tried to push, but his mastery of the Force suppressed your own.

“Do you want me to ease the pain?”

“No.” Your eyes watered even more as the needle went over your sternum. “Ohhh.” It had to have taken hours to completely outline and color in, but Kylo Ren never removed his hands. Your mind was conflicted on whether it was disgusting or a comfort. ‘ _Why not both_ ,’ your conscious settled the debate. You gasped once the hand was lifted from your eyes. On your chest was the symbol of the First Order, surrounded by tender, irritated skin.

The restraints unlocked and immediately, you lunged for the needle and brought it to the throat of the man behind you. It fell to the floor upon eye contact. “You?” Your eyes widened. He cocked his head to the side, hair following the movement, as you gasped from shock. Now you understood why Hux’s face paled afterwards, and you imagined that your expression mimicked his. “Fucking hell this is a joke.”

“Wouldn’t be a very funny one, hm?”

“Oh fuck, why? Why would you do this?” Your mind was spinning with feelings of embarrassment, surprise, anger, and shyness.

“You did beg on numerous accounts to see my face,” he shrugged with a smirk. It was clear that he was reveling in your reaction.

You teared up and shook your head, “Too much, this is too human. I can’t.”

Ren turned his head around to the artist who tattooed you, “Go.”

“Yes, sir,” the man quickly scurried away. Despite the situation, you still admired his features. ‘ _Oh no! He really is hot!_ ’

The two of you had an unannounced staring contest before you finally piped up. “I know I’m not old, but I reckon this is the lowest point of my life.” You nodded to yourself, and the man exhaled through his nose as opposed to laughing. Brows furrowing, you tried to read the face finally presented before you. “What’re you really playing at, Kylo Ren?”

He gave you a half smile that had your racing, though it was clear that the intent of it was to get you riled up. “You could say that I find you interesting… entertaining even. When you’re not angering me, of course, though I suppose that’s another facet that gives you character. Even if the face of death, you laugh and defy. I do not know if I want to crush that spirit of yours yet, or cultivate it for my own amusement.”

The reasoning brought a deep rose to your cheeks, but you shook it away. “I will not be crushed by you, nor do I exist for your pleasure.”

Gently reaching out and placing a hand on the emblem newly on your skin, Ren looked at you. “Regardless, stay interesting.” He turned on his heel and began walking away.

“Hey!—“

“We’ll speak more tomorrow. I have matters to attend to.” The door shut. You felt bitter and violated. Finally alone, you granted yourself a moment of weakness to cry. Frankly, you couldn’t remember the last time you allowed yourself a good sob session; it was always about building up that hard version of yourself. So despite the pulsing headache behind your eyes, it was a relief to let out the stress.

Mustering up the energy to move out of the chair, you stalked down the hallways of Starkiller. As fate would have it, farther ahead was General Hux—alone thankfully. Sprinting up and catching him off guard, you whipped him around to look at you.

“Were you aware of this?” You didn’t think that you had to explicate on just what you were referring to, and you sincerely hoped he wasn’t. But the chances of that were nil.

“Of course I was,” you had known it, but didn’t expect the next part. “I thought it may be a good idea and suggested it.”

“You slimy bastard!” Your hand rose up to slap him, but he caught you by the wrist.

“You seem to have really made an impression on the guests the other night. I heard people whispering amongst themselves and labeling you ‘Princess of the First Order.’ I thought it appropriate to take advantage of it and create a public image for you.” An ache of betrayal manifested in your chest, which you scorned yourself for ever having some semblance of trust in him anyways.

“Was it fucking impossible for you to at least _ask_ me first?”

“Are you saying you would’ve gone through with it?” He questioned.

“No, definitely not.” It was an honest answer from you.

“And that is why you were not asked. As much as you wouldn’t like to admit it, I have come to know you fairly well since you’ve been here, and I have a certain gauge for your actions. Though that’s not to say that you don’t surprise me from time to time.” Hux laughed to himself as if remembering a funny incident. “When I saw Ren carrying you unconscious, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to have it done.”

“Then so I wouldn’t retaliate and kill you all, you had him show me his face.” You added on.

The General appeared a bit taken aback. “He showed you his face?” The genuine quality of his voice had you surprised.

“You didn’t propose that part?”

“I merely suggested the tattoo when I passed by you two. Kylo Ren took it from there.” Your fists clenched and you pushed Hux into the wall using the Force.

“Do not think for a goddamn second that you will take away my sense of autonomy,” you hissed in his face. “Try shit like this again, and there will be hell to pay. Of that I can assure you.”

“Armitage.”

“Who? What the hell do you mean by that?” It seemed to be a random outburst that left you confused.

“My name, fool. It’s Armitage.” You took a step back. “If he was comfortable enough to show you his face and keep you alive, then you two must be civil enough.” Your demeanor softened the slightest bit, you were still pissed though. “I kept my promise. You have the ability to rise up even beyond Ren and I’s abilities, I truly believe that.”

The earnest compliment had you looking to the side. “You people make it a fucking struggle to either like or hate you.”

Smirking, but otherwise ignoring the comment, he waved you goodbye. “I believe you have just made me late for a meeting, but I will forgive it this time.”

“Oh wow, how honorable of you, Armitage. How could I ever repay such kindness?” Hux flicked you and returned to his strolled. Armitage sounded so fufu, so it was perfect for an uptight cunt like him. You couldn’t help but wonder who else was aware of his first name. Was Ren? ‘ _Nope, forget that boy. Cancelled._ ’ You were still the tiniest bit shook that the cute guy turned out to be the dickhead Kylo Ren. And you were even more shocked that you had kissed him, and he allowed it. Scampering off to doodle in peace, you tried to forget all about it.

* * *

Awaking to a stormtrooper ordering you to deliver food to Kylo Ren’s room was not ideal. “You’re fucking kidding, right?”

“No, my lady.” You cringed at the term. It seems that the General had scolded the ‘troopers after you had been disrespected, so now they were overly polite.

“God, please stop calling me that. Just use my name.” It felt like you’d waste away if no one addressed you by who you truly were.

“I’m sorry; I do not know your name.” He bowed and you told him. The ‘trooper repeated it to himself and then nodded, making sure to commit it to memory.

Curious, you asked in return, “How about your name?”

“I am FN-2187,” he responded. There was a sadness inside you at how dehumanized they all were. They weren’t even given names to differentiate them, just numbers like cattle.

“Well FN—I can just say that, right?—do you have any idea why Ren has requested this?”

“No, I was not given the details, just the job.” You figured as much.

The two of you made small talk from your side of the ship to the one that Kylo Ren resided on. He seemed nice, but stiff, like most other stormtroopers. “These are his quarters,” FN hesitated before using your name. You grabbed a white marker you had in your pocket and took the ‘troopers hand.

“This is so I can differentiate you from other ones,” you smiled and made a little star on the palm of the glove. “If Phasma or anyone complains, tell them to take it up with me. Have a good rest of your day FN, thank you for accompanying me. I hope to see you again!”

“Th-thank you,” he gave you a nod and went to do whatever else.

You tapped on the door before you. “Knock, knock. Open up you fucker so I can get rid of this tray.” A hand pulled you in quickly, making you nearly tip over the food. “Hell, don’t do that.” It was Kylo, standing there once again with his exposed face. Looking away, you scuttled to the empty bedside table to drop off the tray. “Alright, well, that was great and all, but uh, I’m out.”

Silently, Ren moved up behind you before pushing you onto the bed. Getting in close enough for your noses to touch, he asked, “Are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just what is that little devil Kylo Ren playing at this time?


	8. 'The Innocent'

A blush deeper than you’ve ever experienced flushed your face and you tried to inch back into the pillow behind you. You sure as hell were sporting a double chin at that point. “Um, what are you doing? You’re making me uncomfy.” Instead of responding, he closed you in with his larger frame and brought his lips to your neck. The hot breath made you shiver, but not as much as the sudden kisses, licks, and bites did. The unexpected actions had you moan before you caught yourself. “Just stop.” Ren did the opposite and reached for your breast, and you thrashed to escape the touch. He moved his face to yours once more, engaging in a rough kiss. Your eyes began to tear up at the escalating assault and lack of oxygen. “Stop it!” You screamed when the kiss broke, exerting a large amount of Force from your body, and he relented. “What the fuck is wrong with you, you shitty pervert?”

Looking at you, Ren simply replied, “Preparing you.”

“What the fuck do I need that kind of preparation for?” You were bewildered.

“Soon enough, you will be making more appearances and fights for the First Order. While I doubt it because of your skill level, you may be captured by enemies. Are you so naive to think you wouldn’t be tortured and raped?” You mouthed a silent ‘No.’ “Considering your known attraction to me, I thought it’d be generous of me to do this myself instead of forcing a random officer on you.”    
You groaned in embarrassment. “Hey, I never said I was attracted!” ‘I mean, shit, yeah, he’s hot. But he’s also a total ass,’ you thought to yourself, though you figured the sentiments of your thoughts weren’t entirely private with this man.

“Do you become intrigued with and kiss men you aren’t attracted to?” He was mocking you.

“Of course not! I guess you’re cute,” you admitted to him, earning a smirk, “But that cold personality certainly leaves a fuck ton to be desired!”

Kylo Ren ever so slightly rolled his eyes and finally got off the bed. “Get up,” he ordered. “We have training to do.”

“You haven’t even touched your food though, man. That was the whole reason I originally came here.” It was irritating to see such a luxurious plate of food seemingly going to waste when your whole life you scraped through trash cans just for a piece of stale bread. 

“It was merely a ruse to get you in here,” Ren explained away.

“Well I’m not leaving this room till you eat this,” gesturing to the tray. Grabbing the fork and spearing a strawberry, you held it to his lips. “Come on now, open up for the choo choo train. Doot doot,” you imitated the sound of the horn.

“Are you actually trying to feed me?” Despite it being a question, he said it flatly.

“Well you’re not taking any steps to feed yourself, now are you?” He still didn’t budge so you popped the strawberry into your own mouth. It was so perfectly ripe, it could bring a tear to your eye. When you looked back to him, he had his mouth slightly open for the next bite. Your eyes narrowed with a sly smirk as you picked up another piece and put it into his mouth. This motion continued to be repeated for a few moments. “My god, you’re like a baby. Do you need me to get you a bib too?” Ren glared at you “Kidding, kidding,” you shook your head. “Don’t be a no fun grouch.”

“When have I ever been fun?”

“Shit, never.” You gasped and pretended to be shocked by the revelation. He pinched your arm, which had you flinching, and stood up.

“Alright, enough of this. Time to go.”

“Fine, fine.” You softly smiled, happy to have gotten Ren to actually eat his food. It filled you with an odd sense of pride. Confidently, you took your place at his side as you strode down the hall. You couldn’t help but wonder just how many people could do the same without punishment. Entering the room, you noticed a blade on the table. Kylo Ren picked it up and tossed it to you, mimicking the same movements as before. But this time, it was a sword of far greater quality. You’d even say beautiful. A white hilt with an intricate pattern of stars and moons and a sharp, polished blade. You looked to him with curiosity.

“It’s yours. It is made of a metal that won’t melt, so it even works in combat against a lightsaber,” he explained.

“Are you fucking serious? This is for me?” You felt a giddiness inside you. “I love it so much, I could just hug you!” You blurted out. “Eh, on second thought, maybe not the hug.”   
“Oh? And what about a kiss?”

“Definitely not! I’ve had enough kisses from you today,” you shook your head.

“Ah, so for today,” he countered.

“I meant forever!” You clarified to him. Frankly, you never thought you’d become comfortable enough with the emo kid to actually joke around. You filled with warmth knowing that you’d made another companion. And his lack of helmet, for now, made it that much easier to feel comfortable and welcome to speak with him. Before you knew it, you heard the crackling of his lightsaber activating and quickly jumped away. “Woah there, bud. What’s this for?”

“You need sword work,” Ren began stalking towards you, twirling the ‘saber in his hand like a baton. He was right, but you weren’t quite prepared. ‘ _ Shit-ely enough, I suppose I won’t always be prepared in actual combat. _ ’ You placed your own sword in ready position, judging the weight of it quickly for optimum handling. Kylo Ren swung at you, and you parried with your own sword. Real metal clashing with his ‘saber was an odd feeling, but you prefered your weapon. The movements began picking up speed, but your improving abilities with the Force allowed you to predict each swing. Neither of you were on the offense or defense. By the sour expression on his face, you imagined it was disquieting that someone so untrained could match his swordsmanship.

After a while, it really became taxing. Your back and forehead became sweaty, which rarely ever happened, and your breathing was labored. Though his strength and stature were greater than yours, your speed and defensive capabilities still allowed you to be on equal footing. Plus, you sure as hell weren’t weak regardless. At this point, it was really a battle of stamina, and your competitive streak gave you a second wind. Exerting yourself with grunts, you forced him back and held the tip of the blade to the side of his neck. “I,” you wheezed, “I win.” You then collapsed to your knees as the adrenaline left your body.

“Impressive girl,” he pat your head and you smiled at your accomplishment. Regaining your breath, you stood up, and at the same time the General entered the room.

“Supreme Leader is calling for a meeting.”

“Ugh, I’m fucking sick of that bitch,” you whined.

Kylo Ren jabbed his finger into your still sore tattoo, causing you to flinch. “You may want to watch your disrespectful behavior.”

You swatted his finger away. “Oh whatever, Kyle.” You knew calling him the wrong name irked him, and right now, that was your goal.

“Enough, let’s go. Snoke does not like to be kept waiting by childish interactions,” Hux cut in. You stuck your tongue out but followed along anyways.

Immediately upon entering the chamber, Lord Snoke began to speak. He called out your name.

“Yeah? What do you need?” You forced your tone to be more casual instead of potent with obvious distaste.

“I see you bear the emblem of the Order now. Good,” he nodded. “I have a job of a different kind for you. You will assist Ren on a raid. Considering your past, I assume it will be a breeze for you.”

“Well,  _ sir _ , raiding and ransacking are my specialty. I’ve even copped a few goodies since being here.” You snickered. It was true that a blaster and holopad were snuck into crevices in your room. ‘ _ You know, just in case. _ ’

“Indeed. And Kylo Ren, we have discussed this mission in the past. Do you remember what we spoke of, and are you ready to accept my request?” You snorted at the way he phrased it as a question. ‘ _ As if anyone could say a damn thing except yes. _ ’

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Ren replied.

Snoke nodded in approval. “You are to take her and a group of stormtroopers tonight. She is ready this time, right? I see she is armed with the sword made for her.”

“Yes, Leader, we have worked on her handling skills and she far exceeds what I expected of her.” You beamed at the praise and acknowledgement from the otherwise pretentious man.

“Excellent, I trust the mission will be a success then. That will be all, you are dismissed,” Snoke waved you three away.

In unison,  you all said with a bow, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Come with me,” Ren took your arm and led you. The willing and initiated contact surprised you, but you allowed it.    
“Okay, teach. See you later,  _ Armitage _ ,” you teased, and he just waved you off. “What are we actually doing, man?”

“That’s hardly relevant to you. All you need to know is that you will be taking down any armed men and allow me to retrieve what the First Order is looking for.”

“Aw, what? So I’m not even doing the stealing? Y’all are going to make me lose my touch.” Ren shrugged. You attempted to break away to your room, but his hold on your arm tightened and you were taken into his once again. On his bed was a fixed and newly polished helmet. “Well shit, at least that is done.”

“Yes, it seems your damage wasn’t irreversible,” he spoke monotonously.

“Oh sod off, we both knew it wasn’t that bad.”

“Are you ready?” It was a change of topic.

“Ready?” You were confused.

“Ready to actually engage in a fight.” Kylo Ren clarified slightly.

“Oh,” you actually stopped to think about just what was to happen. “Not quite, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready till it happens. My fighting style has been to slip undetected, not stand in front of the opposition.”   
“I believe you’ll do fine.” It was almost sweet of him to try and console you, but there was still anxiety lurking in your heart.

* * *

At some point in the night, you were packed onto a ship and headed to a planet. You were not certain of which one. Nervous and afraid, you reached for Kylo Ren’s hand and gripped it tightly. Before he could say anything, you softly whispered, “Please.” He stared at you through his mask, but turned back to face forward, not pulling away from you. You had never gone on assignment with the knowledge and intent on hurting others. It made you uneasy, but there was something comfortable about the current position, and you could even feel the warmth of his hands through the glove. “Thank you, Ren.” It was genuine gratitude, and he gave a slight nod in response. The ship shook, indicating a landing was taking place. Kylo Ren exited as soon as the hatch was opened and you followed him by his side. ‘Troopers loaded out behind the two of you. Surely seeing that someone was arriving, there guests waiting--or perhaps you were the guests. A quick glance made it easy to tell that these were fellow human beings. 

Even as you two stood in front of the village people you were to rob, you kept his hand in yours. You didn’t know what you were after, nor could you focus on the words exchanged between Ren and the leader. You were used to stealing from anyone, but it was guaranteed that this would entail much more violence than you cared for. You placed your free hand on the hilt of your new blade, picking up Ren’s signal that it was about time to move. Stormtroopers waited behind you, though you expected that they were moreso an intimidation tactic. This was the opportunity for  _ you _ to show your abilities and forced loyalty.

You alone began to walk forward, and before you knew it, lasers were shot at you. You deflected them with your hand, trusting the Force around you, and continued towards the leader. “Give up,” you were arm's distance away from him.

“Never to tyrants like you,” the older man spat out. Your expression saddened because you had no choice on what to do now. There would be no peaceful resolution this time.

“Then I’m deeply sorry,” you said in earnest. Your blade was pulled and the leader’s head tumbled to the dirt before he realized what could be happening. You tried justifying to yourself that it was a merciful kill. He felt no pain. Blood smattered and stained your face, blood that was not your own. “Please drop your weapons,” you called to the rest of them. Your powers may have helped them to oblige. It was a farther range than ever before, but you managed to pull all their guns back to you. A ‘trooper trotted over to pick them all up.

“What are we to do with the rest of the villagers, sir?” Another stormtrooper approached your “comrade.”

“Kill them all.” The response mortified you, and you defied him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Absolutely not,” you barked to the ‘trooper. “They’re innocents who don’t even have weapons now! Don’t be a monster!”

“Have you not committed crimes and made others lives harder?” He asked you condescendingly, pissing you off even further.

“I’m a lowly fucking thief, not a murderer,” you retorted. Turning to the stormtroopers awaiting orders, “Get back on that goddamn ship.” They stood still. “Now!” You commanded with authority in your voice, and finally they obeyed. As they were shuffling, you noticed FN among them. He seemed to look at you before following the others.

“You dare override my orders?” Kylo stood over you menacingly.

“For the sake of justice, absolutely I will. I know you’re a heartless bastard, but maybe sparing others would make the Order more appealing. Ever consider that? Now go back.” You pointed to the ship. “Go.” You felt the Force around you, manipulating him to listen. Before walking after him, you scanned the crowd of villagers who had clear expressions of horror on their face. You gave a curt bow before leaving. 

This defiance would not go unpunished. Of that, you were sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the tease! Just didn't think a fuck would be quite natural yet hahah. In this story, I like to think that Reader's mercy and kindness towards the innocent makes Finn begin questioning what the right thing is. She sort of influences his later variant behavior. I was rushing a little to get this chapter done before my classes started, so sorry for any awkward cuts or grammar/spelling mistakes.


	9. 'Piercing Flesh'

“You petty fucking child.” Catching you off guard, he threw you to the ground by your hair into Supreme Leader’s chamber. Whipping your head back, you were met with eyes of pure rage and could feel malice radiating from him. You spat at his shoes before scrambling to your feet and continuing to walk, feeling quite pissed off yourself.

“Ren, kill her,” Snoke ordered the moment you two approached, seemingly getting message of your protest against the masked man.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” The tone indicated he was more than happy to oblige with this order.

“Wait what the fuck, no.” You took a step back. The immediate direction the conversation went gave you whiplash, and admittedly, imminent death was something you foolishly hadn’t expected.

“You seem to believe that your power and authority overrides Kylo Ren’s. If that’s the case, then you kill him. If you’re truly stronger, it should be no problem saving yourself,” the creature said to you with disgust. ‘ _Ugly bastard_ ,’ you mouthed in response. Your fingernails dug into your palms hard enough to draw blood. Watching each red droplet fall from your knuckle to the ground centered you. It reminded you in that moment, you were alive.

Shooting your glare to Kylo Ren, you snorted then grinned. “Hope you know I don’t regret shit. Unlike the rest of your spineless crew, I follow through my convictions. Disgusting monsters like _you_ stopped scaring me years ago.”

“Always rushing to your death.” Ren’s eyes narrowed.

“Hahah,” your laugh came out crazed and shoulders shook from the adrenaline flooding your system. “We’ll see who lives and who dies. Pussy,” you stuck your tongue out. His upper lip twitched with annoyance and in the next moment he activated his lightsaber. An exhale of relief came from you when you felt your own blade still at your hip. You unsheathed it with a twirl. ‘ _Always one for the dramatics_ ,’ you internally laughed at yourself.

With that simple movement, a heated duel ensued between you two Force users. With each meeting of blades, the crackling of his crimson ‘saber grew louder. Typically, you may have found it unnerving, but the stakes were far too high to wuss out of this one. Yet you couldn’t get the ache out of your chest from fighting him that burned you. _“Sentimentality.”_ It was Ren’s voice that popped up in your head when the two of you were connected once again. ‘ _Piss off_ ,’ you shot back. The smirk indicated that your message was received.

The two of you were relatively evenly matched. Your natural skill had saved your ass your whole life after all. “And what a pitiful life that’s been.”

“What?” His reading of your thoughts caused hesitation in you, allowing him to slice into your arm. You cried out and dropped your weapon, cursing yourself for doing so. There was no way he’d just let you pick it back up, and your dominant hand was fucked now anyways.

“You’ve never been strong enough to do shit for anyone,” Ren began talking down on your crass level while swinging.

“No!” You cried out, panic beginning to clutch at your heart.

“You’ve only let people die around you, you sickening failure,” he continued relentlessly. “I’ve seen them all, they feel the same.”

“You’re wrong!” You screamed, disturbing the Force enough to cause the room to shake. Your mind was in agony, and Kylo Ren was certainly going to use it to his advantage if you’d let him.

His arms raised above you, and like the first time you two fought, you saw that he left his midsection open. You felt an electrifying heat radiate from your hand as you thrusted it into Ren. Your eyes widened at squelching sound of piercing flesh and saw white tendrils of lighting surrounding your unwounded arm. He hacked from the piercing of his organs, spraying crimson at your face and on his own. You watched his lightsaber fall to the ground, the echo of it resonating in the room, and deactivate. Everything was surreal.“Oh, oh god no.” Fighting against the resistance, you pulled your arm out of his abdomen, dry heaving at the thick layer of blood. You looked into Kylo Ren’s face to see an equally shocked expression, blood dribbling out of his lips. His eyelids fluttered and he fell to the ground. You lunged to prevent his skull from cracking against the ground. Quickly sitting by his side, you situated his head on your own lap.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want this.” Your hot tears mixed with the sweat and blood on his face. Ren’s eyes were on your face, but he said no words. Trembling uncontrollably, gritting through your own pain, you placed your palms over the hole you created in his midsection and pressed. “You’re going to live goddamn it. Fuck, I didn’t mean to,” you sobbed as he lost consciousness. “Please.” You weren’t sure what you were pleading to at this point, but all you needed was strength--the strength to save a life. The world went quiet, and you found your breath. ‘ _The Force surrounds everything. Right_.’ With extreme focus, you pushed all Force in you into your hands, creating a white aura around them. You could physically feel your life transferring into his own. A weary smile creeped on your face at the sight of the closed wound. “You fucking scared me, dickhead,” you wheezed, followed by the vomiting of stomach bile. The next adverse effect to come was the loss of your vision, and sure enough, your own mind slipped away. In those fleeting moments of thought, you were perplexed at your own actions. After all the banter, arguments and training, had you come to care about the heartless man? Or was the matter more selfish? Perhaps you simply didn’t want to murder more. Whatever the answer was, you weren’t given the time to come to a conclusion before total lights out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I'm sorry I've been so lame and haven't updated and that this isn't long. I started university a couple weeks ago so I've been busy to say the least! So I know Reader isn't a Sith or anything, but she's also not a Jedi... so I figured I could give her some cool shit lol.


	10. 'Alive'

Somehow, you managed to open your eyes that had been crusted shut, and you groaned at the feeling of light filtering through your optical nerves. A doctor came to your bedside, helping you sit up. It seemed you had been comatose for the past week. “Ugh, fuck, that’s a shame.” The way your joints ached with each minute movement confirmed that her statement was true. A jolt of adrenaline suddenly shot through you as you remembered what happened prior to you being in this sorry state. “What about Kylo Ren? Is he fine? Alive?” Your throat obviously sounded hoarse.

The doctor rubbed your back and shushed you with soothing sounds, bringing a glass of water as well, which you eagerly gulped down. “He is stable, but also hasn’t woken up yet,” she informed you.

You grimaced due to the heavy feelings of guilt. Not that you particularly cared about the First Order, but you felt a little bad for taking out both Force users in one fell swoop. ‘ _ Only the littlest fucking bit of regret though. _ ’ You knew you should allow yourself some leniency. It was a fight for your life, after all, but you were still processing everything. Your head fell into your palms as you reminded yourself you murdered one man and almost did the same to another.

“Please don’t look so down,” the woman gave you a soft smile. “Were it not for your healing, he would’ve died within minutes of the impaling.” ‘ _ Goddamn, did she have to use the word impale? _ ’ “Ah, but I have to alert General Hux of your condition now. Please don’t push yourself to make any sudden movements.”

“Shit, I’m about to get chewed the fuck out,” you released a dramatic sigh.

“If it means anything,” the doctor began to say as you she was leaving, “He seemed to be quite worried about the two of you and visited quite often.”

“Only because it’d be a detriment to the Order if the two of us died, thanks though,” you waved her goodbye with a somber smile on your lips. There was an endless possibility of things the General could yell at you. All you could do is shut your eyes and meditate whilst in wait for your guest. You felt a disturbance near you and came back to reality to see Hux staring at you stone-faced. “Can you make this shit short? I can already guess what you want to explode at me for.” You looked away from him, brows furrowed.

He stepped closer to you. “Do you know how  _ fucking _ lucky you are to still be alive?” A light laugh came out of you at his swearing, yet you felt slightly threatened at the same time. “It took all the best medical workers on this ship to maintain your life.” Hux quickly got in your personal bubble, forcing you to meet his eyes filled with bitterness.

“I didn’t fucking ask to be saved, asshole.” You pointed your finger in his face. “Y’all were trying to kill me anyway, so what was the damn point of saving me?” His bitterness was reciprocated by the tone of your voice.

“I argued for your life, you ungrateful little child.” He began to raise his voice.

“Shut the hell up,” you quieted him, not wanting to disturb other patients who could be around. “I’m not a fucking child, cunt. I never had the chance to be.” You spat the venomous words out, tears pricked your eyes. Your chest ached with stress.

The General shut his eyes tightly and took a deep inhale through his nose, trying to detach himself from the situation. “Just rest, don’t expect to be given that much recovery time now that you’ve woken up.” You flinched as his hand drew towards, only to be surprised at the pat on your head. “I have business to attend to.” Hux turned on his heel, but before exiting, he looked back at you. “Oh, and clean yourself up. You look like a wreck.”

“Screw you,” you curled your lip at him, earning a smirk. The doctor told you to not to move to much, but you never were the obedient type, now were you? You made your way to a shower, using the walls for support along the way. Looking in the mirror, you realized Hux was right. You looked atrocious, but hell, nobody is a sleeping beauty. Stumbling into the shower, you turned the water on, cranking up the heat. You knew it’d be impossible to stand, so you sat down before your knees buckled on their own. The warm water was soothing, making you wonder if it was even worth it to ever get out. Somehow after washing up, you worked up the energy to, in fact, get up. ‘ _ I’d rather not be a pruney, old hag. _ ’ It appeared that you got lucky with your bathroom choice, for there was fresh clothes and toiletries in a cabinet under the sink. An internal ‘ _ hell yeah _ ’ and ‘ _ thank you _ ’ rang out in your mind before your thoughts drifted back to the wounded man.

Again, you focused your thoughts in meditation and felt around for his presence. Now that you were accustomed to the Force, it was easy to detect the energy around him. You quietly made your way to where you guessed he was, not wanting to be caught by the doctor and get sent back to your own cot. You drew back the separator, and felt a twinge of pain in your heart at the sight. Kylo Ren was there. You felt slightly dazzled, you had never seen the man look so peaceful and gentle. ‘ _ Fuck, maybe there are sleeping beauties. _ ’ You cursed yourself for having such an embarrassing thought. Having stood on your weak legs for long enough, you finally pulled up a chair to his bedside. ‘ _ Good thing I took this. _ ’ It was the comb from the bathroom. “Your hair is a rat’s nest, dude.” Despite him not being able to hear you, you laughed. 

Ever so gently, you crept up on his bed, taking his head in your hands as you carefully combed through his hair. It was impossible to not admire how soft and shiny it was. After finally taming it, you pondered how to keep his hair from getting mussed up again. A brilliant idea struck you, though you were sure Kylo Ren wouldn’t approve of it were he conscious. You fished around once more in the bag of toiletries you took, feeling for a ponytail holder. Finding exactly what you were looking for, you once again took his hair in your hands and began to braid. It had been a lifesaver for your own head, so you were practically a pro at them; however you had never done it on someone else before. Being satisfied enough with how it turned out, you got back into your chair. It wasn’t perfect, but you figured you’d have more time to practice in the future. Who knows, maybe he’d like his new look.

* * *

It continued for days, you taking care of Ren while he was still trapped in a coma. You rarely went back to your own room, preferring to sleep on the chair and keep watch over him. You were able to convince the General to let you do so by helping him out with some of his duties and planning. Truly, you were grateful to the ginger, and once more, there was a sense of respect and acknowledgement between the two of you.

Often times, after you’d finish up with the day’s assignments, you’d take care of his hair and face, cleaning it up. You also sang to both him and yourself little songs you learned. Music was something no one could steal away, after all. Figuring this day would be no different, you began to drift off. Comforted by the warm contact with another human being after a lifetime of deprivation.

You felt your hand get a weak squeeze, causing you to jolt up. And there were those deep brown eyes, looking into your own. You held your breath, realizing you never considered how he’d react upon waking up. Bracing yourself for the worst, you bowed your head down before attempting to stand up and scurry off. ‘ _ I’m such a pussy, hell. _ ’ But his hand gripped yours harder, pulling you back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo doggy, I deeply apologize for the late ass update... But on another note, that new trailer tho. Ren is looking mighty fine !!


	11. 'Give it to Me'

“Uh, morning,” you cringed at initiating the conversation. Kylo Ren’s grip tightened around your hand, purposefully causing a twinge of pain to run through the limb. “Okay, look,  _ I’m sorry _ .” The tone of your voice was incredibly ingenuine for someone who had been consumed with nothing but guilt and worry. Like hell you were going to let him know of that though. “I had no way of knowing how much damage I could do when pushed to the limit,” you said a bit softer, eyes looking down. 

They raised as you felt fingertips touch your cheek. The man considered you for a few moments. “I want your power.” Ren’s voice was clear. “Will you give it to me?” It was like his eyes pierced you, and you couldn’t shy away. Your confusion was obvious from your expression. 

“I don’t think it works like that,” your brows furrowed. His fingers looped in your hair on the back of your head, his stare intensifying. ‘ _ Oh god, I am so uncomfortable. Abort mission. Abort. _ ’ “Uh, uh,” you jutted your arm out, jabbing Ren in the side. His grip loosened at the surprise and you scurried away.

Back against a cold, metal wall, you clutched your chest, waiting for the waves of adrenaline to calm. ‘ _ Be still, my beating heart. _ ’ A sigh of relief came when you knew he at least wouldn’t be able to follow you. 

You had been spending most of your time taking care of Kylo, but now that he was up, you decided you’d delve into doing whatever little chores you could find. Anything that would take your mind off whatever bullshit just happened would be a godsend. 

And with devil’s luck, you saw your ‘ _ favorite _ ’ angry ginger. You weasled your way to his side. “Hey buuud. What’s kickin’? How’re you doing?”

“What could you possibly want?” Hux turned to you with an annoyed glare. 

“Oh, I’m just looking for something to do you know. Anything for the Order, right? Ha,” you felt gross even saying that. Just because you’ve accepted the position you’re in doesn’t mean you like it, after all. 

“Charming,” he rolled his eyes. “And why do you suddenly want to get to work?” The General didn’t slow down his pace to conversate with you whatsoever.

“I’m bored!” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the real reason, and he could tell. Gratefully, he didn’t bother to push you further. Clearly, there were more pressing matters on his mind then whatever your issues were.

“I’ll send assignments to a holopad that will be delivered to your room then.”   
“Nice, thanks man,” you gave him a thumbs. He gave a curt “mhm,” which didn’t bother you. You knew that no one else would be able to talk to him like that without consequence.

There was already an officer standing at your door with a holopad in hand. The man is nothing if not efficient when it comes to work, which was an admirable trait if you had to admit it. “Thank you.” You took it from the officer, and the woman bowed before walking off to do whatever chore was next for her. As promised, there was a list of assignment you were responsible for finishing by the end of the day. You scrolled through the list, knowing it wouldn’t be amusing whatsoever. ‘ _ Whatever. _ ’ It was what you asked for to keep busy. And indeed it did. Not wasting  _ too much _ time, you got to working, content that you could do so from your own bed.

* * *

With a groan, you woke up to a ‘trooper entering your room. Frankly, it really irritated you and you couldn’t help but feel disrespected. ‘ _ Really, after all this time they’re gonna do me like this? You asses. _ ’ Your eyes were tired and dry from staring at a screen all night, so opening them was unpleasant to say the least.

“Lord Ren summons you to his chamber.” A monotone, distorted voice came out.

“Um, can I say no thanks? Cause I’d really rather fucking not.” You still felt icky every time you recollected what happened in the infirmary after he woke up. The silence and the blaster on the Stormtrooper’s side answered that question. There was an internal scream in your head. “Fine, fine. Give me a minute, then I’ll come out.” You waved him away, gaining a nod and an exit.

You shrugged off your nightwear and put on a clean outfit. One thing you were grateful for thus far was not having to wear a uniform. You had somehow managed to convince the General to let you keep comfortable wear… for now at least while you’re not an official member of the First Order. Taming your hair that was mussed up from a night of tossing and turning, you decided that you were put together enough to walk about the ship.

“Lead the way,” and indeed, the Stormtrooper did. Without having to do anything, the door to his room opened, permitting you entry. His back was facing you, and your eyes widened at his hair. ‘ _ A braid? _ ’ It was just like the ones you had been doing.

“Surprised? It’s quite convenient actually for when I put on my mask,” Kylo Ren turned to you.

“Uh-huh, keeps it from getting to knotted.”  The two of you stood in silence, and your legs were growing tired, not entirely ready since you had woken up not long ago. ‘ _ Goddamn, this is awkward as shit. Hate it, hate it, hate it. _ ’   
“You have an assignment. From today onward, you are to stay by me unless I dismiss you. No exceptions.” Your eyes quickly scanned his face for any sign of a joke, and you were distressed to find none.

“ _ Eh _ ?” Your voice came out high. “And why the hell is that the case?”

Ren walked towards you. “I already told you, or did your injuries cause memory problems,” he taunted. “I want your power, so I am going to use you.” It was a chillingly matter-of-fact statement.

“Oh, so you’re going to treat me like some fucking tool?” Now that got you feeling heated.

“If that’s how you see it, then I won’t disagree with that analogy.” Kylo shrugged.

“Hell no,” you gritted out. “I refuse.” You tried to turn away, but he held you in place.

“I explicitly said no excuses.” Your eyes narrowed at him, and you hoped he could sense the intense animosity you felt. You were able to push away his hold and regain control of your body, but it put a great strain on your body. It seemed your body and abilities hadn’t fully recovered since exerting yourself.

Your knuckles turned white from clenching your fists, and you felt tears prick your eyes out of frustration. A smile found its way on his lips at the look on your face. “What a nice expression.” He wiped a tear from your eye with his thumb.   
“Go fuck yourself.”

“Oh, would you like to see that?” You backhanded him, and Ren’s cheek quickly formed a reddish color from the strike.

“I can’t believe I even worried about a prick like you. I should’ve let you die,” you spat out of rage. Deep in your heart, you knew you didn’t regret saving him, and since he wasn’t phased by the remark, you were sure he knew the same.

You hadn’t felt such profound dread since the beginning of your time with the First Order. How you were going to survive these new conditions, you had not a fucking clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few months, oopsies. I just had to put the rest of my effort into finishing up the semester, and then I've just been playing FFXV and reading all winter break. I'm sorry! It was a little tough to write this after such a long hiatus, but I hope it isn't too, too rough! Till next time ~


End file.
